The time has come, dear readers, for us to sit around on our fat asses and eat chips while watching generally beautiful people fling themselves about and perform amazing feats of athleticism. No seriously, its almost the Olympics and my favorite part about watching this bitch (besides male swimming events) is the opening ceremony when all the countries parade around in their little national outfits. Of course, the USA will be wearing some mind-numbingly boring Ralph Lauren prep-fest and China will be all blinged out in commie RED but what about the countries in our beloved Eastern bloc? Well my friends you are in luck because RFE/RL ran a post today highlighting some of the very best looks from our favorite style hubs! 

First up are some Russian track athletes doing a typically Russian photo-shoot pose while decked out in what look like slutty nurse skirts and 1970s polyester blend polo shirts. Flattering!

Next we see the lively and light-hearted athletes from Kazakhstan sporting some very funereal chic looking blazers. Really though, its the scowl and heavy bangs that make the look!

But lets get to it. I’m sorry but everyone else can go home now because GAME OVER Ukraine has hands down the best Olympics outfit I have ever seen. Can you even handle the collar on that shirt? The white blazer with blue piping!? Be careful though because if you stare long enough at the pattern on that shirt you may have an acid flashback. GOLD MEDAL. 

Yesterday while checking my twitter feed, I spit out my ice tea all over my new iPhone because this glorious gem of a picture hit my retinas like a dexy shot to the heart. Now most of you will (should) know that our Dima is hip to internetz so not only has a twitter account but also an instagram! If you’re not following his instagram you will be missing lovely pictures of him in Mexican tuxedos (see below) and also of that hot betch Dorofei who blew up the internet a minute ago. Anyway, here is Dima yesterday at an informal meeting with government members to discuss current issues. Well just about the only issue I want to discuss is that OUTFIT! Can we please acknowledge what is going on with Dima’s jean jacket? Not only is it adorably shrunken, but it also has CONTRAST LINING in a a jaunty blue and white pattern! Now this delightful little garment would probably have attracted my attention on its own, but when paired with an extremely fitted brown henley AND clashing jeans, well that just takes the cake. Also of note in this photo: Surkov gleefully smirking in the background at Dima’s unfortunate sense of style. Typical. 

As you may know, I spent the last month frolicking about South East Asia trying to sneakily photograph Russians wearing horrible outfits. Well, I finally got around to putting the pictures on my computer so are you in for a treat! First up however were some looks I couldn’t ignore, even if they had nothing to do with Russia. I am fascinated by people who try to match outfits like overgrown twins, so when I spotted this fabulous couple sporting twinsie rainbow brite inspired travel ensembles I had to try to get some “candids”. The “grin like a maniac while sidling over to one side so that an associate can get our victim on film without being caught” is a useful tactic I have employed on numerous occasions around the world (remember our friend with the orange scooter on the streets of St. Petersburg?). As you can see, this was an especially tricky situation due to the extreme close proximity at a cafe in Macau. However, we prevailed and caught our subjects in situ. Quite a look eh?

Today I am in Cambodia, and visited this lil temple called Angkor Wat. While visiting, I was plagued by this annoying group of tourists from, take a wild guess, RUSSIA! Just my luck, even when I am in the jungles of Siem Reap I can’t escape horrific Russian “style”! Here I was trying to enjoy the temples in peace when my eyes were assaulted by this stunning group and when I was drawn closer like a moth to the flame I realized that this incredible herd of people were RUSSIANS. Loud talking, chain smoking, vodka fume producing and of course sporting some incredible duds, it was unmistakable. In between taking a billion photos of the beautiful temples, I tried to take some “sneaky” candids of this delightful little group of Russian tourists. In the shot below you can see how successful I was!!! 

The first thing  I would like to draw your attention to is that glorious outfit to the far left. Pink shorts, yellow striped polo, sky blue hat and white flip flops paired with a lovely gut is really an inspired choice! But really who are we kidding, we both know you can’t tear your eyes away from that exquisite beauty in the orange. CAN YOU EXCUSE HIS BEAUTY? That shirt! That physique! Those shorts! THAT HAIR! I haven’t seen a hairstyle like that since Tweedle Dee! Even though he seriously resembles an orange that is some hair. You know Rihanna will be sporting that look as soon as she reads this and gets a glimpse of THAT LOOK. Here’s more of this stunning vision if your retinas can even handle it.

What’s that sound you hear? Why its the sound of Oscar de la Renta, Karl Lagerfeld and Calvin Klein hanging up their hats and firing all their employees because they have nothing left to contribute. That’s right. They can all go home because this week in Ukraine the World Fashion Awards Show was held and it was haute couture, elegance and glamour epitomized. English Russia posted a bunch of pics from this classy event and my eyeballs nearly seized from taking in so much unbelievable high fashion. This show took place at the curiously named Radisson Royal Moscow Hotel located in Ukraine and featured “celebrities, glamourous girls, expensive dresses and accessories, Rolls Royces, Ferrari and an armored S600 at the entrance”. Sounds like my kind of party! Anyway head over to English Russia to peruse all the glamour, sheer bodices, and bedazzled platforms, but below I have posted a few of my favorite looks. Watch for these looks to make an appearance on Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Stodden soon!

Volvo Fashion Week (not to be confused with Russian fashion week) has just concluded in Moscow and boy did they do it right. Only on a Russian catwalk would you see whips, rifles, snakes and babushkas all on one runway. Here are some of the highlights:

One of the best shows of the week was brought to us by designer Olga Ibragimova, who showcased looks inspired by Britney Spears’ 2001 VMA performance. This look will no doubt be popular by the patrons of the Puerto Rican Day Parade here in New York City.  

Ria Novosti comments that the new collection FlavorD by Dora Blank displayed “feminine and elegant designs”. I don’t know about that but I do know that Tyra would applaud the designer for featuring “fiercely real” babushkas as models:

Designer Ester Abner said she was inspired by equestrians for her collections. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen anyone ride a horse dressed like this, but I have certainly seen dominatrix drag queens dressed like this in Chelsea.

This gorgeous, demure, subtle individual pictured below is Vyacheslav Sudzilovsky, who according to our friends at English Russia, considers himself “a fashionable person and top stylist” in Moscow. Vyacheslav likes to go to nightclubs and is clearly a master at face contouring. Vyacheslav claims that it wasn’t until after a horrific accident in which he “fell down the stairs” that he decided to turn to plastic surgery. All I can say is thank you stairs!!! If your eyes can’t get enough of this exquisite beauty click through to English Russia to see more.