Escandalo! British Royal Family Edition!!!

Ooooh girl. This is a good one. Well as many of you may know, in addition to being a Russophile, I am also an unabashed snob and lover of all things English. I lived there during my formative years so blame my parents. Anyway, the UK’s most esteemed journal and upholder of the class system, the Daily Mail, reports that “Princess Pushy’s” (thats Princess Michael of Kent to you) Russian tycoon boy toy was shot in Moscow the other day in what is being called a contract killing. (Cue dramatic ominous music here). For those of you who may not be well acquainted with Burke’s Peerage (how common), Princess Michael of Kent is married to Prince Michael of Kent, who is a grandson of King George V. That means he is Queen Elizabeth’s cousin and first cousin twice removed by marriage to the hero of our times and gold digging hall of fame member Kate Middleton (ahem I mean the Duchess of Cambridge). Anyway, this story is super scandalous first because Princess Michael was caught holding hands with Mikhail Kravchenko, a Russian furniture tycoon, in Venice recently while her husband was hanging out with his friend and ours, crazy oligarch Boris Berezovsky!!! Escandalo! Princess Michael claims they were “just friends” (mmhmm) and is said to be devastated by the news that Mikhail was dead. Police in Russia believe his murder is an attempt to seize his $150 million a year furniture business. Unsurprisingly, the palace has not made a statement.

Here’s a pic of Mikhail casting an admiring glance at Princess Pushy while her husband looks on (aka plotting this murder). 

And here is a shot of the two “friends” holding hands in Venice.

Escandalo! First Family of Kazakhstan in NYC Apartment & Ivy League Kerfluffle!

OOOH boy. We here at Red Scare just LOVE a delicious scandal, especially when they involve Central Asian presidents, multi-million dollar real estate and our Ivy League alma mater!!! RFE/RL reports today the the brother of Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev has filed a claim in an NYC court alleging that his ex-wife and son conspired to steal his $20 million (is that all? amateur) apartment in the Plaza Hotel. He goes on to “allege” that upon purchasing the condo in February 2008, his ex-wife Maria Kurmangalieva and her son Daniyar Kesikbaev “demanded” that he sign over the rights to the apartment immediately. Now IDK what this gold digging all-star and her progeny have on this dude but it must be good. I bet my idol Eloise is involved. If that isn’t enough to make you bow down to her royal gold digging highness, Nazarbaev “alleges” that his ex is a “fugitive from justice” who is wanted by INTERPOL for crimes including “kidnapping, the use of threats of physical harm to extract funds from a business associate, and using criminal threats to force another person to transfer real property to the name of a family associate”. WOAH! Wouldn’t want to be their couples therapist! As if that wasn’t enough, Nazarbaev is also accusing the son Daniyar of falsifying school records to get into our alma mater Columbia University! He says that Daniyar falsified school records from Kazakhstan when he really went to school in Switzerland. Further, In 2007, Nazarbaev and his hot ex sued a company for “allegedly” convincing them to spend $200k to secure Daniyar’s admission to Columbia before being told that “he was not Ivy League material”. DAMN! That smarts. I’m kind of surprised though because there are a whole lot of students I would agree are not “ivy league material” and they’re still here! In fact I’m supposed to be grading their papers as we speak. Well I’ll keep my eye out for Daniyar in the halls in the hopes of one day meeting his HOT mom.